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Story: 'Third Time, A Charm?
Summary: It is actually possible to get too drunk to be properly married in Vegas.

It's been about a month and half since they, in true Las Vegas tradition, got married while they were very, very drunk. They still haven't heard the end of it, though it's been worse for Nic than for Andy. She has more siblings than he does employees, but he's sure that Sarah's obnoxiousness counts for at least two people. But after a month and a half, they still haven't received their marriage certificate in the mail, so Nicoletta's been making some calls.

It's when she goes very quiet that Andy knows something is bad; when she puts the phone down as gently as she possibly can, he starts to wonder about the best course of action for when she explodes. And then, "It turns out that we never actually got married, according to the state of Nevada."

What. "What."

Through clenched teeth, she continues. "The state has no record at all of Nicoletta Corlioni marrying anyone, or Andrew Grant marrying anyone. Or. Not you, anyway, since you're not exactly the only Andrew Grant." She shakes her head. "I don't know what the hell happened, since I do remember saying 'I do' in a chapel."

"So do I," Andy mutters.

"But they have no record. So despite the 'I do's and the Catholic ceremony without a certificate—that's two weddings—we're not married."

At that point, the whole thing has been so completely absurd that his control just slips and he starts laughing so hard his stomach almost hurts. It takes her a second before she joins in.

"So," he says, once they both calm down enough to speak, "we're having a third wedding." Sarah is going to give him pure hell. He doesn't even want to think about Angie's reaction. "We're never going to hear the end of this if it gets out. Is there any way to for us to get officially, recognized by the government married without anybody finding out?"

She shrugs. "I…maybe? I can get the priest to sign off." He seriously hopes she doesn't mean she could threaten a priest to get it done. He might not be religious, but there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed.

Then again, with all the teasing…

"And," she continues, "then I can get…probably Romeo and—fuck, I don't have another possible witness who won't say anything. You? What about Adri, would she do it?"

He thinks about that, running a hand through his hair. "I think so, yeah. Knowing her, she'd need a logical reason for not keeping quiet about it, and I don't see how there isn't one." Andy grins at her. "How did we manage this?"

"By being idiots when we're that wasted," Nicoletta says wryly, and shakes her head. "God, Andy, this is stupid, and by the way, which anniversary are we celebrating?"

That makes him pause. That's one he never thought he'd have to consider. "Um. The first? Since that's the one we thought was actually getting married."

She looks like she's thinking it over. "Why not all of them?"

That suggestion isn't that much of a surprise. "One drunk, one formal, and one secret?" he asks with a laugh. "That…very much sounds like something we would do."

She grins and steps over to kiss him. "You're already on my accounts," she says. "After we get married, you want to be on my kid's revised birth certificate?"

He kisses her hard, because Christ, does he love her. "Fuck yes I do," he answers against her lips, and he's smiling when he pulls back. "Want to have more?"

"I have fifteen siblings who are around," she points out. "No way do I want Talia to be an only child. It seems boring."

That's so completely her that his smile broadens into a grin. "How soon do you want to start?"

She shrugs. "A year, maybe two? I think Talia should be a little older. I think I want two more. What about you? When do you want to start?"

"Well, you're the one that's going to pregnant, so whenever you want to start having more kids is fine with me."

"Smart man," she cuts in.

"As for how many… I probably won't know until we have that many."

"It'll be easier to decide if we have a boy and who the boy's like," Nicoletta says. "If the kid's like Romeo, then I might be open to more. If he's like David, I'll want to kill myself. And if he's like you, I'm arming you with one of those Magic Erasers."

He laughs. "I'll take the Magic Eraser. And the gun if the David part happens."

"But I think four is my limit, no matter what," she adds, "because being pregnant isn't fun."

"I'll take your word for it." He leans down to kiss her again, softer this time, but biting her lip because he knows she likes it. And he likes hearing her moan. "I love you so fucking much, you know."

She smiles at him when they part. "I really like you."

He still sometimes wishes she could honestly say she loved him, but her honesty is even better, especially since he can see how much she means it. "If we're getting married a third time, I would hope you do," he teases.

"Yeah." She grins. "I wouldn't spend the whole fifty bucks or whatever it is getting the license otherwise."

"Thank God it's not more expensive." He wraps his arms around her waist. "So. Wedding date?"

"I'm going to vote 'as soon as possible', so probably once we get the license and I talk to the priest." She slides her hand up his chest and to the back of his neck to pull him down for another kiss. "That way, we finally are married and you can legally be Talia's dad soon."

That's something that makes him smile, and he thinks it always will. "I like the sound of that. Marriage license tomorrow, wedding the day after? I'm assuming it won't take long for you to talk a priest into marrying us, and it'll give us time to talk to Adrianna and Romeo."

"Sure," she agrees. "I'll go to the church right after we get the license. He can have us redo the 'I do's the next day, when I know Meo's out of class and Adrianna's available. Shouldn't be a problem, and then we'll return it and actually be married." She smirks. "I hope."

"If third time isn't the charm for us, then we're obviously not meant to be legally married," he answers dryly. "Though I doubt that would stop you."

Andy kisses her again, his hands sliding down to her hips to pull her closer. "Are we having a secret honeymoon for the secret wedding?"

"Nothing is stopping me." She grins at him, twisting a leg around his. "Stacey and Talia are going to be home soon, so don't start anything you can't finish fast. We will definitely have a secret honeymoon. We'll call it a vacation, could take Talia and Stacey with us if we want." She pauses. "We should probably tell Stacey about this."

"We do know Stacey won't tell anybody," he agrees, before he glances around her office. "And if you want me to do anything fast, then fucking you on the desk is out of the question…"

Nicoletta smirks. "I guess there are just no options." She kisses him again, harder, biting his lip before gently tugging at one of his lip rings with her teeth. He knows that she knows exactly what that does to him, and he groans, pulling her to him.

"Plenty of other options," he mutters against her lips, and slips his hands down further to grab her ass. Sex on her desk sounds good too, maybe for later, but the last thing Andy wants is to be interrupted by their daughter and Stacey. "Could just go down on you, for now."

She grins at him, grinding into his leg. "I'll owe you for later if you do," she promises, and lifts up high enough to bite his neck.

He moans, pulling her against him harder, before he picks her up just long enough to set her on the edge of her desk. Andy slides his hands up her legs once he drops to his knees and kisses the inside of her thigh. He grins when she runs a hand through his hair, her fingernails just barely scratching over his scalp, before he pulls her underwear off and sucks hard enough at her skin of her thigh to leave a dark bruise.

"Fuck," she says softly, and hooks her legs around his neck. She's already pulling his hair gently, but it's more as she pushes his head closer to her. He gives her a teasing lick, and she moans again.

Andy will never tire of hearing that sound, or her, or them, or definitely this. He drags his tongue stud across her clit when he licks her again and moans quietly when she sharply tugs on his hair with a gasp. He runs his hands up her thighs again, spreading her legs a little wider before he sucks her clit into his mouth and teases it with his tongue.

"Oh God." Her moan is suddenly muffled, and he flicks his eyes up to see her fist shoved against her mouth. If it's possible, he gets harder at the sight, the thought that he's got her so excited that she can't keep quiet without muffling herself.

And he can't help but take that as a challenge. He swipes his tongue over her clit again, pressing two fingers into her and crooking them just right, and not even her fist pressed against her mouth can keep her quiet. Andy nearly grins against her, moving his fingers again when he lightly scrapes his teeth against her.

She bucks up against his mouth, crying out into her fist, and fuck if that isn't incredibly hot. He has to hope she'll follow through on that owing him thing.

He gives her one last lick before he pulls away from her and slipping his fingers out of her, grinning. "Good?"

She catches her breath before answering. "Very. God, Andy."

"I try." He shrugs, still grinning, before he sucks his fingers clean and stands. "You are ridiculously hot." He kisses her rough and presses against her, not trying to hide the fact that he's hard. He'd calm down, eventually.

He can feel her smirking against his mouth, and she kisses him again. "Promise I'll go down on you later, but for now, you might want to stay in here." She grabs him through his pants, squeezing gently. "At least until this isn't an issue."

He groans and bites her lip, hard but not enough to draw blood. "You're evil."

"Always awesome to hear."

He rocks his hips against her, just once, before he makes himself step back and focus on other things. Andy nearly asks about their honeymoon—their third honeymoon—but it's too close to sex for him to think about right now.

Then again, it's hard (pun not intended) to think about anything else, especially with the taste of her still on his tongue and her underwear still on the floor in front of her desk. "Exactly when is later?" he asks instead.

"Talia goes to bed at seven. Seven-ten is later." She grins at him. "I think you can probably hold out that long." She slides off her desk and reaches down to pick up her underwear, a lacy G-string that might as well not be there. Except she looks amazing in it, and he knows she knows it.

"Maybe she could go to bed early," he suggests.

"How early?" she asks, and he is positive that the way she shimmies back into her G-string is done on purpose. Why is she hot when she's evil like this?

He sits down and adjusts himself, trying to think pure and clean and boring thoughts. "Six-thirty?"

"If her daddy puts her to bed, it might work," she says with a grin, bending to kiss him and give him an awesome view down her shirt at the same time. So much for pure thoughts.

"If her mom stops teasing me, I think it might be better," Andy grumbles. "Stacey might be disturbed otherwise."

Nicoletta laughs and pats his cheek as she stands. "Only for Stacey's sake," she agrees.

"Thank you," he sighs. He's not sure if he means it or not. "You know exactly how hot you are when you act evil, don't you?"

She grins. "It's half the fun of being evil."

"…what's the other half of the fun?" he asks warily.

"Evil for evil's sake," she says promptly.

"Of course it is." He pushes himself up enough to kiss her lightly. "I love you."

"I really like you." She smiles, and he smiles back.

"I know."

"And I think I hear Stacey and Talia," she adds. "Do you need a minute to get yourself together?"

He gives her what has to be a pathetic look, because she laughs, shaking her head as she leaves him in her office. He sighs heavily as soon as the door closes and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. Bad tattoos. Idiot customers. Zombies.

Six-thirty cannot be soon enough.
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February 2012

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